To whom it may concern:
How much we enjoyed your magazine's recent dissertation on projectile vomiting (and the previous one on copious bleeding) among the Rocky Mountain human species. We have a current vacancy for Assistant Professor of Comparative Effluvia if anyone is interested.
Salary commensurate with experience, obviously, and a benefit package that includes a case of rot- gut bourbon and five pounds of salmonella salmon. And by no means least, international recognition in academic circles. We look forward to the forthcoming definitive essay on patterns in loose stools in the six- county Colorado region.
Pseudonymously yours,
Dr. Scrooge Gumblegrinch
Anthropology Department
University of North Revulsion