Lily Ashcom

Lily Ashcom, 77, passed away surrounded by loved ones on October 27, 2025 in Wichita, Kansas.

Lily was born on May 18, 1948 in Awase, Okinawa, Japan to Stanley and Hiroko Kiyan. The eldest of seven, she loved dancing and keeping her brothers and sisters in check- skills that would last throughout her life as she evolved into the family matriarch.

She left Okinawa to attend college in North Carolina in 1967 although her studies were usurped by the campus’ proximity to Camp Lejeune, where a USMC pilot she had met back home was going through basic training. Lily married Rod Shapiro and in 1970 they welcomed Naomi. In 1975, they moved to Hawaii. She would remain very close with Stan and Sue Shapiro, Rod’s parents, even after they divorced in 1980. 

In 1982, Lily went to a beach party where she met Tom Ashcom, then a cardiology intern at Tripler Army Medical Center. They talked for hours and both were smitten. From that enchanted evening on, their fates were intertwined in a love story for the ages. They married in 1985 and in 1986, they left Hawaii for the great state of Texas, settling in Killeen for a year before transferring to San Antonio, where Tom practiced at Brooke Army Medical Center. In 1993, they moved to Wichita when Tom joined Cardiovascular Consultants of Kansas. 

Wichita became their home, and a home base for the greater Kiyan family, with everyone gathering here regularly for reunions and special occasions. She was a tremendous booster for the city, always extolling its hidden charms and illustrious history. Lily loved to travel but always looked forward to returning home, where she kept a busy social calendar filled with tennis, bridge, book and investment clubs, and Bible study. 

Lily was involved in many different local organizations over the years, including the Wichita Grand Opera, WINS, Mark Arts’ Designing Women, Wichita Symphony Orchestra, Botanica’s Pistils, Senior Services Meals on Wheels, and Rainbows United. She was a phenomenal culinary talent and took great pleasure in feeding people, which often extended to serving the homeless community. 

Lily was a true force of nature and her passing has left a significant void in the hearts of her family, friends, and many more whose lives she has impacted over the years. 

Lily was preceded in death by her parents, Stanley and Hiroko Kiyan, brothers Morris Kiyan and Steve Kiyan. Lily is survived by her beloved husband, Tom; daughter, Naomi Shapiro (Bob Burdette) and son Chris Kiyan (Jolene); five grandchildren, Veronica, Jasper, Langley, Thomas and Daniel; sister, Janie; brother Bobby; sisters Harriet Kiyan (Phil Jelicich) and Doris Johnson (Randy) and sister-in-law Erin Kiyan. Lily also leaves behind many nieces and nephews who she adored, including Stephanie Muniz (Mike), Jacqueline Dupler (Adam), Alyssa Schutt (Rob), Brandon Seevers, Will Kiyan, Caroline Pace (Austin), Lauren Kiyan, Annie Kiyan, Katie Jelicich and Kyle Jelicich. 

A Celebration of Life Service and Reception will be held at 1:30 p.m. on Thursday, November 6, at Cozine Life Events Center, 11500 E. 21st St. N. in Wichita. In lieu of flowers, please consider treating yourself and your family to a nice meal and raise your glasses in memory of Lily. A memorial has also been established in Lily’s name at Rainbows United. Share condolences at www.cozine.com. Services by Cozine Memorial Group-Cozine Life Events Center.